Forget it.

I am self diagnosed with Anterograde Amnesia. Take note of the termself-diagnosed. In layman’s terms, it’s what you call Short-term Memory Loss.

I have various degrees of forgetfulness, and I was only able to have a vivid memory after several exposures or long term experience.

I was never any good at memorizing directions or even following them. I’d go to a place once and I swear I wouldn’t be able to go there alone for the second time. I would need at least a twenty to fifty times of recurrent visits with someone who knows the place entirely.

I tend to forget to do what I had planned to do 10 minutes ago. They say it happens to most people; that you just need to retrace your steps and you would remember what you were supposed to do. I’m different. I could retrace my steps a hundred times and even just sit around trying to rack my brains, but it would take me another hour to actually recall what I was supposed to do. And by that time, I would have already forgotten the reason why I should do it.

I always do not have any routine every morning, because I need to constantly put a reminder on my desk, telling myself to bring a handkerchief, to remove the plug from the sockets, to wear my wristwatch, to bring my notebooks, and even my cell phone. If by any chance I would forget something important, alas, I would remember about it when I was already down the road, going to where I should be going.

When I get introduced to someone I don’t know, I would forget the name in about 15 seconds, and I would have to ask it again. If by any chance I would see that person alone, never expect me to say hello to that person because technically after the first meeting, I wouldn’t be able to remember that person’s face. I usually upset those kinds of people, but I don’t know if it was my fault, or I shouldn’t just blame myself.

I have a really short attention span. I guess it’s still related and maybe it’s the reason why I tend to forget short term memories. I would freak out that I lost my I.D., or my wallet, or my cell phone because no matter how hard I tried, I could never remember where did I last put them. I forget the topic for a lesson the previous day because I wasn’t listening, not even try. I could memorize a whole chapter in a book but trust me to forget all about it the next day.

I can still enumerate a lot of things that I tend to forget, but I guess I would just make a novel out of it. In my age, I just keep on wondering whether this forgetfulness I experience is just part of my becoming an adult, or it’s really something else I shouldn’t just self-diagnose.